Where do you fit with your husband? You may have read the famous quote of Matthew Henry on the creation of the woman, "The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam, not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved."

The Word of God also tells us in 1 Corinthians 11:7 that the "woman is the glory of the man." As the glory of the man, she is also a crown to honor her husband.

Proverbs 12:4 says, "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones." I love the Amplified version which says, "A virtuous and worthy wife – earnest and strong in character – is a crowning joy to her husband."

Isn’t it interesting that God says a virtuous woman is a crown? She is not to be trodden underfoot. She is not to be looked down upon. She is not inferior. She is a crown. A crown is worn upon the head. A crown is something that is dazzlingly beautiful. It is usually made of gold and ornamented with precious gems. It is a token of honor.

Noah Webster’s 1928 dictionary says: ‘To crown’ means to invest with royalty. To bestow something upon as a mark of honor or dignity; to adorn, dignify; also to award first rank.

Point five of ‘to crown’ In Webster’s says, "Anything which imparts beauty, splendor, honor or finish; also the highest state or quality of anything." And on this point he quotes Proverbs 12:4.

A virtuous woman adds distinction and dignity to her husband. He is proud to wear her. He wants to show her off. He praises her before others.

When she honors him as king of her home, he will rise to kingly heights in his manhood. When she awards him ‘first rank’ he becomes free to reach his full potential and is inspired to do things he never thought possible. He will treat his wife like a Queen with dignity and respect.

Have you crowned your husband? The more richly you crown him the more you will be blessed.

What does the crown look like with which you adorn your husband? Does it look tarnished and strange because many jewels are missing? Or is it filled with precious gems? What are some of the gems that will make your husband proud to wear you as his crown?

Is your crown decorated with diamonds of devotion, dedication, dignity and diligence that will delight his soul?

Have you set in sapphires that will shine and sparkle with a serving, sacrificial and submissive spirit? Are you sweet to him? Are you a strength and support to his vision and goals in life? Are you sensitive to his needs? Are you steadfast in your loyalty and commitment to your marriage?

Have you positioned pearls in your crown – pearls of patience, peace, perseverance and prayer for your husband?

Oh don’t forget the rubies, the rarest of all gems. Is your crown radiating with rubies of reverence and respect for your husband?

Is your crown ornamented with opals of openness, obedience, overflowing love and the oil of joy?

Don’t forget the emeralds that emanate esteem, earnest commitment, encouragement and endurance.

Adorn your crown with amethysts of admiration, affection, affirmation, approval, appreciation and attentiveness.

Just a minute! You can’t forget the crowning jewel of all – contentment! This jewel adds luster to your crown. This jewel releases your husband from bondage and pressure. Sadly, it is often a missing jewel. It’s easy to be content when you have everything you want. But can you learn to be content when you don’t have everything you want? Can you be content with what your husband provides for you? I am always challenged by Psalm 128:3 TLB where it talks about the "contented" wife in the home.

"If I do all this, he’ll walk all over me," you say. "He’ll become proud and he’s already got a big enough head!" It doesn’t work that way, dear one. When you forget about yourself and seek to bless and serve your husband, you not only crown him with dignity and honor, but you truly become his crown. You won’t be subservient. You’ll be worn on his head as his most treasured possession.

Why not start adding precious jewels to your crown today?



"Father God, I confess my sin to you of not crowning my husband. I am so busy thinking of myself that I forget to crown him with blessings. Help me to be a crown upon his head that will cause him to shine for the glory of God and to "sit in the gate of the city." Show me the jewels that you want me to add to his crown. Save me from doing things that will make him ashamed. Please help me, Lord. Amen."


A woman who is a crown to her husband…

C Cherishes her husband. (Titus 2:4)

R Reverences her husband. (Ephesians 5:33)

O Obeys her husband. (Titus 2:5)

W Watches over her husband to do him good. (Prov 31:11-12)

N Never nags her husband. (Proverbs 19:13; 21:9,19; 27:15)


I’d love to share with you some very beautiful marriage vows that a young couple wrote for one another for their wedding recently. Actually, I shared with the young bride about being a "crown" to her husband at her Wedding Shower and I was thrilled to notice that she added this to her beautiful vows.

"My love, no one has heard me the way that you understand me.

No one has touched my heart the way that you heal me.

No one has loved me the way that you fill me.

No one has presented Jesus’ love the way that you make Him my Prince.

No one has mirrored me the way that you complete me.

No one deserves my love the way that you humbly take it.

I take you for all that you are all that you’ll ever be, as my FOREVER BELOVED.

It is my desire to join with you hand in hand with our Father, to bring more of God’s kingdom to this world.

It is my desire to be a virtuous wife, that you may wear a crown on your head.

Today, I give to you and to the Lord my life and my worth.

I return from independence to dependence.

From now through eternity I am yours…

Yes, and Amen, your Bride.

And here are the Groom’s vows…

Today, I make a covenant with God and with you to love you like Jesus loves the church.

To learn your ‘love language’ more fluently and then to speak it more clearly.

I promise to lift you up on my shoulders if God’s plan for your life seems out of sight.

To hold your hand when you feel like it is dark all around you.

I promise, with the grace of God, to make you and our family first in all that I do.

Not to leave you behind, but to walk by your side every day.

I believe that God’s intention for my life was to marry you and share the rest of my life with you.

So, I pick up the rod of husbandhood and leadership and put on the cloak of humility.

I also promise to have a lot of fun with you!

Your Groom.

Didn’t you love these vows?

© Lues 2012